TO: Kate Halverson

FROM: Linda Wilk

RE: GUEST COLUMN FOR APRIL 5 – Day to End Sexual Violence

DATE: March 4, 2005

 

Decide to End Sexual Violence: Build healthy, respectful relationships. That is the national theme for APRIL 5 – A Day to End Sexual Violence.

 

What a simple, but yet profound statement to make. As I read the campaign materials I thought to myself what an opportunity to educate the community. It seems like a simple concept, something that all of us were taught in kindergarten, yet for so many people they don’t have a healthy respectful relationship.

 

As a child they learned quickly that their body wasn’t their own. Their body would be violated by someone they loved, whenever that adult chose to take advantage of them. That child in turn grew up thinking that he or she did something wrong or deserved it. Too often that child entered an adult relationship not knowing what constituted a healthy respectful relationship.

 

That is why nationally, APRIL 5 has been set aside as a day to END SEXUAL VIOLENCE. 

 

The entire month of April is also set aside nationally to focus on Sexual Assault and Child Abuse. In addition the week of April 10-16 this year nationally is Crime Victim’s Rights Week.

 

Let’s work to put an end to sexual violence, to domestic violence and to unhealthy relationships. As a community, and individuals within the community, take a stand to promote healthy relationships.

 

In all relationships, you have the right to set limits, feel safe and get support. You also have responsibility to trust your instincts and model respectful behaviors. In healthy relationships, people don’t turn to alcohol or other drugs to mask their pain or to enable them to open up to others.

 

Healthy relationships are non-threatening, supportive and involve shared responsibility.

 

That means. . . . .

 

*touching, kissing, hugging and sexual activity require permission

*every person has the right to say no and to change his or her mind

*permission is not gained through coaxing, pressuring, force or harassment

 

Take a moment to do a reality check on your own relationship. Is it respectful, equal, involve listening and communicating? Are you aware of rights, differences and desires of your partner? Do you trust yourself and one another and do you empathize?

 

On April 5 and throughout the month of April, please pay attention to flyers in local grocery stores, church bulletins and other locations that give victims resources to turn to and become more educated about the issues.